Aug. 5th, 2009

1) 17 year old me, DO NOT sleep with your brother's girlfriend, no matter how tempting it may be since it's your first time and she's mistaking you for Jude anyway. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

2) 12 year old me, just because you dropped out of the boy's choir is no reason that you have to stop singing altogether.

3) 14 year old me, just stay home from school on April 12. Don't ask. Just stay home.

4) You're going to meet a girl named Laura Harden when you're 23. She's in your Economics class and she hates Mr. Brunwell as much as you do. You're going to crack a joke about his toupe and she's going to laugh, even though it was the lamest joke ever. You're going to think she's pretty and you'll ask her out on a date. She's going to tell you no and that's okay, because you're going to keep asking her out on dates for two years until finally, finally, she says yes. Now, I could tell you not to ask her to marry you three months after that first date and I could tell you to make sure that you wear a condom when the two of you have sex the week before your wedding, but then you'd miss out on the most frightening yet potentially most rewarding experience of your life. You see, Laura gets pregnant and she doesn't tell you about it because you ditch her at the altar. You don't get married to Laura because you get cold feet, you realize at the last second that it's not where you're supposed to be, that she's not The One like you thought. Two years later, she's going to show up on your doorstep with a toddler, the cutest little boy you'll ever see, and she'll tell you that he's yours and then just hand him over and leave. You'll freak out at first -- hell, I'm still freaking out -- but I'm optimistic that it will be okay. You've got your family, you've got Gabriel and Jack is the cutest kid.

5) You're never going to get the Han Solo desk. Just give it up. Everybody but you thinks it's hideous and you don't have the space for it. Just let it go, man.

6) It wasn't your fault. I know that you think that you should've done something more, but you did everything that you could. Let it go.

7) Jumping off that proverbial ledge when you started dating Gabriel? Best thing you'll ever do.

8) Never stop laughing, even when it hurts too much and you don't think you'll ever stop crying.

9) Listening to Marcy Weller when she tells you that the coast is clear and it's okay to make your left turn is a very bad idea. Marcy is not wearing her contacts, so she can't accurately judge the distance between your sweet little Firebird and that pickup truck.

10) Everything is going to be okay.


Desmond Molloy

September 2011

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